Seems adding the little word “real” to an identity throws people into a tizzy. While watching Capote’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s this snowed in evening, I picked up on the repeated use of this word. “She’s a phoney” says Holly’s visiting Hollywood agent, “but she’s a real phoney!” Somehow being genuinely phoney makes her lovable, acceptable and, most importantly, believable. It seems convincing ourselves that we are a real “______” should therefore make our chosen identity believable to others. “Are you a real writer?” Holly accusingly asks Paul. He responds by explaining he’d been published, as if to say this makes one a real writer. What makes one a real writer anyway? Somehow blogging (self-publishing) makes people feel like they are a bit more real than putting the handwritten words down in a journal no one is going to read.

What makes one a real triathlete? Having trained oneself in swim, bike and run workouts? Having competed in a triathlon of any distance? Having competed in an Ironman? Kona? Having an M-Dot tattoo? Often I have friends and athletes I coach say, “I’m not a real triathlete/runner/swimmer/biker.” My job is to help them realize that they create their own reality. As a friend, who is a Green Beret in the army, said to me last month upon his return, “Over there (Baghdad) your reality is made up of all your possibilities.” Why can’t we as athletes turn this into a positive perspective? What is possible in our realm of training and competing is certainly real. Perhaps, the problem is not truly believing what is possible.

According to Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) our mind creates our reality through language in behavior. Perhaps we should drop the word “real” from our vocabulary all together because in saying positive affirmations like, “I’m a real runner,” we suggest for our brain that an opposite exists: a runner who isn’t real. We don’t want to even imply the possibility for our brains that pick up on the negative. While it’s important to realize all the possibilities, it’s also important to focus on that one that we wish to achieve. One of the main principles of NLP is, “Maps are not the territory. Instead, we get what we focus on.” An excellent exercise to improve our belief system can be found at the following website: http://www.planetnlp.com/nlp_exercise_beliefcreator.html It asks us to recognize what “real” looks like in our brains by thinking of something that is real and then noticing what the space looks like and the distance that “real” thing is in relationship to us. Then, we are supposed to imagine and focus on that thing we want to be “real” in the same space and distance from ourselves.

Perhaps you’ve heard the old saying, “Fake it til you make it.” Eventually acting “as if” becomes real! Holly believed she was Holly Golightly, a beautiful classy woman suitable for any millionaire bachelor, and in turn was successful at convincing others. What I’m talking about here is not the importance of convincing others you are a real “such and such” but rather convincing ourselves and acting as such. Forget the “real” nonsense. If swimming is your weakness, start telling yourself every time before you get in the pool, “I am a swimmer!” Shout it out under the water. As Ford said, “whether you think you are or you think you aren’t, you are exactly right.” Train Happy, Coach Amanda